Worry And Work!

Woke up as early as 5am, I can’t find my way to sleep back again. Mama and Gel is going to Manila, Jeng is going to school. Good thing J came and did not left until Jane and Cj arrives. You might wonder why I can’t be alone, it’s because I can’t stay in a place where nobody is around. That is my phobia since I got sick. I read my daily thought and from short hours of sleep, my worry still lingers me. I am praying every single moment of my time and I will not stop until  Jah touches me. I will not stop praising Him because I believe that from the moment I called him and He was beside me,watching over me. HE is the great healer and I know He really is.

I worked today,I extended two hours more because I really wanted to finish the set of backlinks I am working on. Just ate dinner, and I’ll take medicine before I sleep. The pain is on/off and it made me more quiet. I don’t want to talk to anybody but just focus on work. If I don’t feel good, my bed is at my back, I just lay for a few moment and get back again.

My eagerness and focus on work is on very good status, for my opinion. I am determined to work on my tasks so well and I review them most of the time. I lessened time for playing and watching television. I don’t know but whenever I recall this day, my first year working with John, I feel special,I feel like I am as normal as employees are.Thanks John. You’re a heaven sent to fill my frustrations before.

I miss you Jon, and iif you could only see and hear me, I know you’ll never let me go. I remember your words saying, the more I felt bad, the more you’ll hold me tight and never leave me alone. I hope you still have those words. Always pray baby, I am missing you, I love you dear… 3 months tomorrow there,you’re doing great,mwah!

Add a comment November 11, 2009

Schedule Ruined!

I said I will rest today but I did not, instead I worked. Actually, I logged in early this morning but I don’t feel good, the aching I feel here at my right waist part attacks and it is on/off. I don’t have money now so I can’t go run to my Doctors, so what I did was first send a message. I cried when he told me to undergo a colonoscopy to see what’s inside, I need to be confined. My day fell down, I cried alone here in my room, I left the things I am doing, I can’t stop my self from crying. I told Mom about this and she asked me to stay calm, we called the doctor, he gave me pain relievers and observe for two days, I feel fine when I took the medicines. And I hope and sincerely pray that in two days, I’ll be fine. I know I will with Jah’s touch number one.

I will follow instructions and I will free myself from worries because I believe God is with me. I just logged in at our new rescue time and its goal is to monitor us! No worry bout that, I can honestly say I am working, with or without that.

I miss you Jon, it’s been three months tomorrow since we last saw each other. I am eager to see you soon. God bless us always, always pray huh,I love you…

Add a comment November 10, 2009

Trying To Follow My Schedule

Yesterday Nov.9,09 was a somehow nice day, I posted here early. I had a on/off aching of my tummy. I worked and rest alternatively. I asked Jeng to help me fix my things on my new cabinet and we did it. I am too tired and weak these past few days and I admit that I am missing Jon more,his touch and care… I had a good sleep though my right waist bothers me, a pain that I don’t think too much because I believe Jehovah will heal me, or He heals me at every moment. Nothing more yesterday because it was just fine following my goals for the day.

Add a comment November 10, 2009

Resting…

Did not post any yesterday Nov.8,09, I’m exhausted, I don’t know but what I want is just to lay back and sleep, or close my eyes rather. I have this weird feeling on my right waist it is aching especially when long time standing, I hope I can get over this. I don’t know but I just think it’s just part of my dysmenorrhea. I know my period is coming, in a day or two. I did not work on thing yesterday because I want to rest but, I have to come with Mom to Town market to buy my new cabinet, yes, wooden and a little wider one. Maybe this afternoon, it will be delivered.

I am happy seeing my things I bought here in my room and I am glad too see some stuffs here at the house from me and I worked at it. I miss Jon more when I am vacant so I am trying to full my sched but since I don’t feel fine yesterday, I really took my time to rest.I texted Nnina yesterday, it is her birthday. I prayed and set my mind and spirit on positive sides. I rest and sleep early last night and woke up past 8 am a while ago.I am working now , I just updated here…

Add a comment November 9, 2009

Refresh!

It is Saturday and I feel tired, maybe because of feeling alone and missing someone. I miss Jon so much. I can’t explain but I just did and never gets tired of thinking of him.

I feel dizzy, I know it’s because of my coming period. I can’t stand long all I want is to lay my back in a soft thing,a sofa or a bed. I did not work or play today, I am not in mood,my mind says I need refresh status, so what I did is I asked them to go out this late afternoon. I enjoyed but there were times I used to keep silent because there’s a sudden memory with Jon keeps flashing back in a particular scene or dejavu like they say.

We went to Nepo again, we bought some needs and we went there to let them fix the unit of our pc, like I told them, they abused it so I hope they learned a lesson.We were fine home all now and fixing some stuffs and Mama started to sit on computer table,lol

I also talked to Nie and it was a happy and funny talk, I love talking to her because I am missing Jon, I can’t deny the fact Nie is as sweet as Jon talks, Jon’s girl version,lol

After this, I’ll rest and  my self to sleep, like I said, I got my eight-hour sleep yesterday!haha I hope tomorrow again,Miss you baby, miss you a lot!

Always pray huh, God bless us always,I love you…

Add a comment November 7, 2009

Not Bad!

We thought there’ll be a whole day, power interruption today but it doesn’t! Power turns off then after 20 minutes back again,it happened twice today! I feel hot today, it’s night again, and it is only the time I read my thought, sorry.

I worked and relax today.I feel dizzy and my eyes were itchy that I have to close them more often. I have to rest my eyes and have a good sleep I think. It’s dinner time, again, we were left four here and as always,watching television and wait for PBB at past 1opm! Nah,I’ll make sure I’ll have an eight hour sleep tonight.

How are you Jon….I hope you come to think and remember me too somehow…

Miss you, Love you dear,always pray huh…can’t wait to see you again…mwah!

Add a comment November 6, 2009

Stressed…

It’s cold still, and woke up before 8am, logged in before 8am too! Took breakfast and read my daily thought, I organized my task to be done this coming week. Though it is boring, need to have some energizer to beat this up, working while loud speakers booms my ears. I have to work with sounds or else I might get myself sleep. I worked today a lot.

Work,work,work…..yeah, I feel exhausted now, actually I am sleepy. Tomorrow,no power so I don’t know, I hope it’s windy and cold as today, to feel fresh and we can sleep somehow. I will not work tomorrow so Saturday for sure I will. I am stressed and I think I need a break.

I miss you Jon, I hope you were fine and I pray that it’s still me inside your heart. I love you. Mwah…..God bless us!

Add a comment November 5, 2009

Cold day…

Ok,past eight am I logged in, I woke up at quarter to eight I think and again daydream and read my daily thought at the single sofa beside my corner. It’s cold outside and insde as well maybe that’s why I woke up late. Mom is out of the house early as I logged in and came home when I finished working. She fix some things Papa told her. It is cold until now, and getting colder as sun disappears. There’s no typhoon but it feels like we were in signal number three,the coldness. I worked today,yeah worked. I dropped into directory submitter then to backlinks, I hope I can finish them all until Friday so I can start the new package of backlinks on Monday,whew! I can do these, all in all, I work on 29 sites, and it’s my pleasure to these things, I love my job though sometimes, I rest like everyone does, I sat at my sofa and took a nap without noticing!lol I am wearing now my unexpected-bought jacket from surplus,lol I thought it’s cheap,whow!It’s 400p! but it’s ok, I love blue,any thing blue looks beautiful in my eyes.

I am missing Jon more and more… I hope he thinks of me once in a while,argh!I can’t help but close my eyes and take a deep breath whenever Jon comes into my mind. I don’t feel good for my tummy but I know I am fine, I believe that Jehovah never forgets to touch and watch over me. I love you baby, I am missing you more, always pray huh, God bless us!Mwah!

Add a comment November 4, 2009

Feel Weak…

I don’t know but I do not sleep well this past few days, I am having a hard time. I sleep late and wake early. I want to get back to my normal sleeping habits. I will try beginning tonight. I worked today, I flashed back directory submitter then back to bookmarkings again.  I feel weak, I don’t know why,can please someone tell me?

I have this pain again my my tummy, it changes its places, sometimes, at right, sometimes at left,upper or below the bellybutton. I just calm myself and rest and keep my mind free from stress and thinkings. I keep holding tight to my belief and hope of praying and believing. I trust Jehovah above all.

I miss you Jon, I sat at my sofa behind the window and again think of you.Would you still be the same, there are so many what if’s running through my head now and I think it is one of the reasons why I feel unwell. But I can’t stop myself from thinking of you,what should I do?Please let me know, visit me in my dreams,I miss you baby. Always pray, keep safe dear,God bless us!

Add a comment November 3, 2009

Needs Rest?

I posted early this morning here. I wake up early as 6am, I went back to our room, we slept at Ma’s room last night. I lay on bed again and I did not noticed, I slept again! I worked today and played.

It is a sunny day today and heavy sudden rain late afternoon. I did not ate too much, my tummy’s not good again, maybe because of PMS,PreMenstrualSyndrome,lol I am too lazy today but I did somehow my needs.

Until now, I don’t feel fine, so what I do was work little by little, play, close my eyes and relax. I am missing you Jon now…so much and I hope you miss me too or think of me for a while. I love you baby… After this, fix myself to sleep. God bless us baby, I miss you…

Add a comment November 2, 2009