my life without y0u...

Reversed Surprised!

giejon24 — Tue, 05 Jan 2010 06:41:20 +0000

Dec.22,09 I wasn’t able to sleep tight and I was so irritable and I don’t know why,hmm…I have this little feeling of Jon’s surprise because of his words and actions whenever he calls me. He talked to Ace too, about this matter,and in that whole week,they’re making fun at me! I was expecting him to arrive on 24th as he said but thru pieces of information I gathered, I am suspecting him to surprise me,LOL And yes to my embarrassment,I was really surprised!I almost cry when I spoke to Nina(Dj’s gf).I almost lost my patience because of that scene,but it all went away when Jon came. And so we hug and talked and making stories. I had a good sleep and A brighter wake up?LOL Thanks Jah, I am happier now spending time though limited hours is given,it’s a worthwhile anyways…:-)

Little Smile

giejon24 — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:37:05 +0000

Dec.21,09 Yesterday, is a new day. I have to work again and so I did. It was J’s christmas party and he comes with Gel and Jeng. Mom and I left here. I am not that bored because I am talking to Ace and Jon,it’s their party too. And it’s their last day at BMTS,they’ll all leave for a passes. Actually, I don’t expect too much but I am glad. I don’t have a good sleep last night and I don’t know why too. Hmm….Miss you Jon… I’m wondering when will John gave me the task…not in a hurry but I just like to finish it asap. Late night, we went to Base Park again, we watched J’s participation there and I enjoy, I mean,we enjoyed.We came home past 11pm and so we came tired and full of talks and stories. We walked.No service!There’s really nothing new!

Speechless…

giejon24 — Tue, 22 Dec 2009 09:27:44 +0000

Dec.20,09. Nothing new but a bright light of seeing an instance to sleep longer… I don’t have any new thoughts for that day but of just missing Jon,I am speechless knowing I am counting the nights I’ll do to be with him again. But still,less expectation,less hurtings,again.I just let it that way though Ace tried making Jon way communicating with me, his presence is still I need… Missing him… Blank today and speechless..

Sad For Him

giejon24 — Sun, 20 Dec 2009 11:51:57 +0000

Dec.19,09,yesterday is a sad day. I don’t know but I wasn’t excited when KJon talked to me that morning, I felt like I was just taken forgranted or I just miss him and I need his attention. I understand that he’ll going to wash his clothes but I really felt bad after the call… I tried sleeping yesterday but I can’t. I just watch television, set some stuffs and talked to Ace. Late night, Ace sent me a message, and he was so hurt,as stated. I was confused because he told me that they were fine,Ace and MJ. And after that message, another message sent to me saying they’re done. I felt bad, I called him and to my surprise,he was crying, though I can’t see him, I can feel and hear his voice,his breathe,his voice that I never heard before,his words that are so deep and followed by silence. I can’t say nothing but I told him it’s ok, atleast he did his part and I understand him that I’m here for him.Jon and I. We talked until 12 because of his situation, I was trying to calm and let him relax but he kept talking, and so I listen. Now I realized how real man handles a break up issue. I don’t know but I don’t want Jon feel that way if ever.I don’t want to hurt him and never will I. I told him to cry that night,shout,do what he wants as long as he never hurt his self.I bid good night for him to think and relax… I had a good yet sad day but it’s ok,I know,everything is happening for a reason and Jah is watching us…

Getting Better…

giejon24 — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 12:15:22 +0000

Dec.18,09.Yesterday,after a full day dizziness,finally, I felt fine for a while, my sweat really rocks and I felt light that time. After a hard time sleep, I received a call saying a confusing thing from Ace. Nah, I said tell me what is it so I won’t think bad, it’ll just made me sad and feel bad if ever. But to my surprise he just laughs and laugh, I felt bad I said so he slowly told me that the two days confinement is not true, it is supposed to be surprise!LOL Arg!I almost cry to my gladness and I don’t know suddenly, I feel fine. And at my work,John asked me to stop my tasks and start new stuff and at this time, I know I can make a sale. I’ll work hard on it if ever,LOL I am inspired and I am happy. I had a good sleep and I really thank God in everything HE showered me. Thanks Jah,we praise you!

Dizzy!

giejon24 — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 12:04:04 +0000

Dec.17,09, I woke up late 9am and started to do my stuffs, I even had breakfast early until my head gets dizzy and spinning. I am thinking what did I ate, what did I do, what causes this super dizzy feeling, I felt like I was floating. I took biogesic,drink coffee to reduce pain but it still spins my head. I haven’t worked well and so I lied and rest the whole day, I tried to sleep but I can’t so I prayed, I relaxed my mind and somehow reverse my feeling. I had a call from Ace too saying Jon has two days confinement again, and it made me feel weak again. I had to feel fine. I prayed and think every positive things by all means….Nothing new,it’s just a dizzy day,…:(

Nice News!

giejon24 — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 11:54:36 +0000

Dec.16,09, it was Jeng’s day, their school night. I woke up early,read my daily thought and stretched. I worked and see to it that I did my stuffs! Ace called that night and it surprised me, he just settled Jon’s passes, all his punishment,gone. And I am so happy! Thanks to Ace, I really appreciate what he did,talking to the personnels and do some private talks with them,nah,I have to pay for this now,hmmm….I have to think of what should I gave him. That night, I was so happy, I didn’t even notice standing long hours there watching for the kids dancing and singing there. I recall my elementary days,and it made me smile!LOL

So we went home with tired feet and funny talks. May God bless us always,miss you Jon…

Missing Me?

giejon24 — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 05:40:44 +0000

Dec.15,09.Hmm…good morning call from Ace and so the talk goes,asking him how’s Jon and if he sees him let him know I am missing him.That morning he never stopped calling and I can’t do but answer it. Anyways,the talks are about them,his relationship with MJ and his girls,nah,chickboy! So what I did was listen. Can’t wait for the time he’ll end the call,LOL So I told him after his call,I’ll sleep again and needs to work so he said sorry and he told me he just like talking to me…(actually that statement is what most of the people I used to talk to,that they like talking to me,I advise well and they like me,though I don’t know what it means really).

He told me he misses my voice hmm???This is not good,I have to stop this thing feeling so whenever he talks,I never talk,I just listen. I worked and spent my day learning and talking to this man… So nothing new just the fact that that I am missing him more,it’s Jon. God bless us…

Friends,Period.

giejon24 — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 10:00:59 +0000

Dec.14,09,yesterday, I read my daily thought,and worked. Yeah,I worked and glad that I am really learning by all means. I can’t wait to see Jon,again…I miss him but I think that less expectation,less pain. So I will not expect and wait instead,hope for the better. I do not feel well actually,maybe because I got tired from walking the other night at base park and the cold kills me,whew! Vicks,here I go again,I remember Jon in this scenario,he never leaves me until he sees me I’m ok.

Ace was good to me but these past few days,I think,he treats me different,is it because we are getting close as friends or we’re just cool persons. I find him funny and kind in many ways. Because if he’s not,honestly,he’ll never help us communicate and he’ll never response on my questions bout Jon like how was he, is he fine or anything. I find him kind maybe because he calls me sometimes,”ATE”,MISS ANGIE,MS.F OR BABY NI JON. Hmmm… he told me likes me because I made him laugh and my response was a little snob saying, “so you mean I am your clown?” He just laugh and say that I’ll never understand. So I never start the talk everytime he asks me to call or he’ll call. I can’t just bypass the calls because I might lose a call from Jon if ever! I know that it is not usual talking to someone every morning,before you sleep,during vacant hours…but what can I do if he’s the only way to know how’s Jon there,what is he doing, and it feels like I was there too whenever we talk,it feels like I am the one seeing and watching them right away. I told him a while ago,that we are good friends and he did not responded so I just kept silent and change topic about his gf. And so on…

Why?

giejon24 — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 09:23:13 +0000

Dec.13,09. Why is it so sad hearing your loved one’s voice instead of feel happy knowing you’re missed and it is a given chance anyway for both of you. That was I felt yesterday,I always miss him but when I get to talk to him yesterday, I cried. It was a mixed feeling,happy I heard from him again,sad because he was punished to confinement there for 5days during passes,24demerits and 29 hours touring,nah,can’t speak that time,my tears continuously fell down and can’t stop it. I was so depressed until I dialed Mek, a friend, our friend and kuya too. He noticed my voice crying so let me cry and asked me to stop.I called him to ask and know if he knows someone there inside BMTS to talk about his punishment but we’re sorry because,though he wanted to help,he can’t he knows nobody there at this time. So my day was messed up,I studied and worked but it feels like my head was blank and I can’t think. I decided to go out with Mom,Gel,Jeng last night at base park,I spent my last money and it feels great though deep inside I’m crying. We ate,we bought some stuffs and walk anywhere there. I got tired. I received a message from Ace and it was saying it’s important so I called asap,he told me,he tried fixing Jon’s punishment and I was surprised,I am happy but I am worried still.I will not expect this time what I do is pray. God bless us and I can feel that!